"The Unknown" - my oldest companion and purest enemy

I still remember one of my favorite past times as a 5 year old child - organizing my books based on height and topic. I think that even in the bare beginnings of my life I loved to establish as much order from chaos as possible. Part of that involved spending hours reading old books (the endings never change), drawing house plans, organizing my closet, and creating endless lists of names, characters, and lives to be precisely laid out in my imagination.

But real life has always refused to stay organized. I realize that it's all for a greater plan and out of my hands (and have learned to prefer it that way!;-)), but at the same time I automatically keep trying to pull it all back into order. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't pulled back into chaos just because I focus so much on making order of it, finding clarity, or at least grabbing a flashlight on my way into the cave of unknown. As I've gotten older, I've learned to slightly diminish how much I rely on organization, but it's still a struggle.

The other side is that I can't understand the opposite thinking - where some people stay as far from organization as possible. I know it's valuable, and I see their quest for adventure, but how can anyone walk through the dark without wanting a flashlight? I at least want the hand of someone that knows the way.

If it was for sale - I'd be tempted to buy my map of life. But I'm just left with a few general directions, an invisible guide, and the knowledge that the end will come out FABULOUS. I suppose that should be enough for me - who needs more than God being over their lives after all - but sometimes I just wish it could be more organized.;-)