Just Dreaming

"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." - by William Dement

I read that quote today, and I'm not sure that I fully agree with it. First of all, yes, it does create a "safe" way to be insaine and technically it does happen every night (that one sleeps) - but dreams don't always feel that safe... and I don't always want to be "permitted" to be insane.

Has anyone else ever dreaded sleeping because they are afraid of where their mind may take them? Thankfully it doesn't happen often, but through a few stressful periods of my life I just haven't wanted to go to sleep because I'm afraid of what my mind will conjure up next! Yes, most of my dreams are stupid and make no sense, but quite a few of them have caused me to wonder how much of the dream was actually just a dream.

The funny thing is that I rarely have nightmares when my life is normal, only when I'm already in the middle of a stressful situation does my sleep desicde to go crazy. Maybe it's just because I'm not sleeping as well so I wake up before the cycle's over? I don't know, I'm just glad I don't get them much.

Technically, I would much rather just sleep without dreams - it would be so much easier to wake up without having something on your mind... wouldn't it? Who knows, maybe it would get boring after a while.:-)

Everybody needs a little Greek place

Whenever my mornings are rushed, I can't bring lunch, and it's been one "those days", I call in an order and go to "my little Greek place" for lunch. It's a short drive, but even in the short 10 minutes it takes me to get there and back life is turned back into something more manageable and nothing seems quite as impossible. The first reason why life is better is just because I get outdoors, roll down my windows, and blast music that my coworkers probably don't know exists.:-) And I'm usually singing along - yes, it's scary.

But here's the other reason - it's my little Greek place! When I call in I never say my name, and they never ask (any more:-)) - in fact, I used to be so boring that I wouldn't have to state the order... but then I decided to try some new things and threw them for a loop. The owner, Nick, doesn't know my orders quite as well as the rest of them (Emily has my order before I get to the counter because she sees my car), but he's jovial and almost exactly what you would expect the owner to look like (shorter, not thin, gray, balding, mustache, always smiling). He's one of those nice anti-metropolitan personal types that doesn't pry, but does ask and tell stories and share life with you if you'll let him.:-) You should hear the story he tells about his grandparents leaving Greece on a fishing boat... I can't even try to tell it right, but it's cool.

And yes, the thing that originally caught me there was the food. Feta is inspiring and Greek salad with marinated grilled chicken is amazing. Homemade soup makes colds feel better, and gyros are plentiful for a big meal if anyone wants it... yes, I love my greek place, and I happily wish the same to any and all of my friends.:-)

No pain, no.... joy?

I've been contemplating pain and joy lately and I think that they are pretty intertwined. Just think, if you never experienced joy, how could you understand the depth that pain goes to? And if you never experienced pain, how could you know how amazing joy really is? It seems to me that we need the comparison of each to understand and experience the completeness of the other. Pain helps us remember how amazing joy is by keeping us in the reality of pain for a moment outside of the joys we have expereinced. And joy does the same by letting us feel the extent of its glory because of our own experience with pain.

Perhaps that is why God let Adam fall? So that by the time we get to Heaven we truly understand how amazing and perfect it is! Who knows, but it's a thought.

Funny how even with that comparison I'd rather have the joy than the pain any day!;-)

What clears your head?

My brain is fuzzy and tired. I suppose I could blame it on life, lack of sleep, health, or all manner of things but I feel like it's a sort of unending power struggle today:

.....Yes, I can think just let me try coffee... Ok, so that doesn't work, running to the mailbox outside?... Stuffing Envelopes?.... Peppermint tea?....Lunch?..... Psalms?... Prayer?.... Nope, brain is still fuzzy. Does anyone out there know how to clear their brain?:-D

And please, do not say meditation.;-)

Angel?

I consider it the sign of a true friend when they can actually tell what I'm thinking... but sometimes it's quite annoying.;-) A few days ago a friend of mine did something against me (minor, but still) and I threatened to get him back by revealing certain info to others (not top secret, just close) - he looked at me and laughed, "No you wouldn't, you're too nice". *glare* and he's right.

Why is it so impossible for me to do "real" practical jokes but insainly easy for me to be overly sarcastic and over-step myself when I'm in "one of those moods" (low blood sugar, bad day, etc)? And the real problem is not necesarily that I don't have the ability to do real practical jokes or retribution - but that everyone knows it.;-)

It kind of reminds me when I was about 7 and played "I Doubt It" with my cousins but couldn't lie, and they knew it! Am I that readable?

*Shakes head* - Why am I so easy to read when it comes to that? Sometimes I wish I could stop being careful, but when I try I just feel guilty! lis :-)

Country by accident....

As many of you know, I have never been able to remember the names of artists or songs - even if I like them.;-) Well, today I went to Best Buy in need of a "music fix" (yes, I'm starting to collect music and ACTUALLY BUY IT!!!;-))... it was a hard week.... so I passed a "Rascal Flats" album, turned it around and read the song titles. Oh sweet, "What Hurts the Most", I know that song! I really love that song at this moment and something in my strange tired and stressed little mind said, "this will extend my collection into alternative"... maybe because I've been listening to a lot of Alternative songs that are like that song (believe it or not, country haters:-p))... yeah, I'm dumb.

So I brought it home, turned it on, and realized - I do love this group's music, and it is the right song, and the rest of it is quite fitting as well... but it's not alternative.;-) 104.9 is slightly different than 107.3 I suppose.... oh well. I do like country anyway, I suppose that something in my subliminal mind keeps me buying it even when I look for "newer" stuff.:-)

So much for broadening my horizons, oh well, I'll try to get "real" alternative music from my cuz when I go to visit him.:-)

Yes, I'm starting another one...

No one read the old one, so lets see if this helps at all. I guess I will try to post later, but for the moment....

ttyl!